Wednesday, June 16, 2010

ours is not to question why ours is just to do or die

thank you everyone for your words of love and support. i never gave any thought in the past about joining a support group but wow you guys make such a difference in the way i feel.

i was in my bar prep class this evening where the professor lectures at a mile a minute and we sit thre typing on our laptops, capturing every word that comes out of his mouth for our notes to study by and here i was typing away, staring into space with tears rolling down my cheeks.

pam, i am so sorry to hear about your losing your fet. i was thinking maybe it was the fact that my surrogate at 22 yrs old and has three small children of her own and is separated from her husband that maybe it was too much stress for her as to why it didn't work.... but who knows. look at celine dion, after all of her tries she is finally, finally pregnant with twins. there might still be a miracle or two left for us.

at least we have the arrival of amani's baby to be excited about and it's coming soon. thank goodness we won't have to wait long. i don't think i could stand waiting around for weeks and weeks as i know when we do try again, we'll then have to wait for the media to come in from london and it will be yet another delay.

and of course we have crystal's episode to follow, triplets, yikes. i guess orea zoi is in transit and all consumed with meeting his wee ones. can't wait for his next post. so there is enough to keep busy and hopeful.

in the meantime just sign me,
maybe next time


  1. Oh you poor baby girl.

    Having to attend studies and cycle in India - I know your pain. I wish I could be there with you in real time. I was doing my Post Grad at uni early 2008 when we started surrogacy in USA. I thought I could do it all. I did so well I got fast-tracked into he masters/PhD program. An offer I have yet to accept.

    My education is very important to me, but i had to make a choice.

    Higher Ed or baby?

    I chose baby.

    I am not saying to you to make the same choices as me, your situation is different to mine. But please do not ever underestimate how hard this can be, and if you struggle emotionally, never beat yourself up for it.

    Re your surrogate, no, having 3 kids is not going to make a difference. Your surrogate gets so much support and care, she basically sits back and does nothing. She has a co-ordinator, a driver, a social worker, childcare, a dietician and someone to bring food every second day.

    Please email me at any time if you need to, if you have any fears or doubts or questions, or just feel like saying "Hi".

  2. Hi-
    I read your blog occasionally and just wanted to give you some virtual support! Being the spouse of a (now) attorney who sat for the NY bar through some of our very difficult fertility issues, I feel for you! Just FYI, he did pass on the 2nd try and he has been swearing about it still (that was 4 years ago)! We are considering surrogacy in India, so I am just learning all I can right now.

    Good luck with the Bar, and I am sorry things didn't go well with your surrogate. Best!